So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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