There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
