Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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