I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
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