She said her name was "party"
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize