she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
