I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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