You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
