Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
