"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
