you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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