I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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