she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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