This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
