I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
