The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I got her a Nickelback box set.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
