i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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