We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize