just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Randomize
