I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize