So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
