Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Randomize
