Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
