you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
