I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
