so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
operation harelip BJ is a go
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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