i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
