Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
