I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
