Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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