I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
