Define "chronic" masturbator.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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