she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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