i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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