Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
