Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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