best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
