Kareoke will never be a sober sport
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
