I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
