upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
