Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
