I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize