Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Randomize
