No subtext here. People are naked.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
