I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
