you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
