she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
