I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
