Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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