some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
