Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
My pussy is not your playground.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
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