She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
