Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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