is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
