Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize