It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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