as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
