The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
