Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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