Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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