These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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