There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize