I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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