You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
