Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Randomize
