my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
the liver wants what the liver wants
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
