i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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