So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
