Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
