And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
